Her name was Michelle Alyssa Go.

She died on Saturday, January 15, 2022.

She was a Chinese American woman. She was 40 years old.

She was a Californian. She was a New Yorker. She was a neighbor. She was a sister. She was a daughter. She was a friend.

On December 29, 2021, she celebrated her 40th birthday and rang in the new year with her friends in the Maldives.

On the morning of Saturday, January 15, 2022, at 9:40 am, Michelle Alyssa Go was pushed in front of an oncoming subway train at Times Square while she was waiting for her train to arrive. As a southbound R train was approaching the subway station, a 61-year-old man ran towards her on the platform, with his arms outstretched in front of him, and tackled her onto the tracks. She died at the scene.

Michelle on vacation, with her parents Justin and Marjorie Go, and her brother Jefferey Go. (Via CNN)

Michelle was born on Tuesday, December 29, 1981, to Justin and Marjorie Go, in Berkeley, California. She grew up with her parents and her brother Jefferey in Fremont, California, in the East Bay area, southeast of San Francisco.

In 1998, Michelle graduated from American High School, where she was a cheerleader and a member of the Honor Society. In 2002, she graduated from UCLA with a degree in Economics and Public Policy. During her years at UCLA, she was a member of the Alpha Iota chapter of the Gamma Phi Beta sorority. A few years after graduating from UCLA, she moved to New York and attended the NYU Stern School of Business. In 2010, she graduated and received her MBA in Finance. For the last four years, she worked as a Senior Manager in mergers and acquisitions at Deloitte Consulting. Prior to her time at Deloitte, she worked at several other companies, including Citibank and Barclays Capital.

Michelle volunteered for the New York Junior League for 10 years — an organization committed to promoting volunteerism, developing the potential of women, and improving communities through the effective action and leadership of trained volunteers. She coached women and children on nutrition with the goal of stabilizing at-risk families struggling with homelessness. She helped prepare job candidates for interviews, helped them fine-tune their résumés, and offered them advice on their personal finances.

Michelle lived on the Upper West Side. She renewed her lease during the pandemic instead of leaving the city. She was committed to the city that she considered home.

She rode the subway regularly to meet up with friends and take spin classes in Tribeca. She had two neighbors named Olivia Henderson and Hannah Epstein. She regularly took care of Olivia's cat, Mimi. She loved to travel, and in different circumstances, she might have left the city over a three-day holiday weekend.

She was known in her apartment building for her big smile and her generosity. She was a natural leader. She was friendly. She was reliable, dependable, and fun. She was vibrant and full of energy. She was gentle and mild-mannered. She was kind and intelligent. She was remembered by her doorman for her kindness.

She was wonderful.

These were the words that were used to describe Michelle, by the many people who had the privilege of knowing her.

At Michelle Alyssa Go’s Vigil, more than a thousand people gathered at the Red Steps in Times Square to pay their respects. (Stephen Yang)

On Tuesday, January 18, three days after her tragic death, a candlelight vigil was held in honor of Michelle Alyssa Go, at the Red Steps of Times Square. The organization that put Michelle’s vigil together was Asians Fighting Injustice, a grassroots nonprofit dedicated to uniting the AAPI community in fighting against systemic injustice and hate, and reducing Asian hate crimes in our local communities. In frigid January temperatures, hundreds of people gathered in the middle of Times Square to honor Michelle’s life, grieve her death, and call upon our political leaders to take action.

Michelle’s face was displayed in bright lights on a giant billboard in the middle of Times Square. Along with her face, were the faces of numerous Asian Americans who had also been the victims of anti-Asian hate over the last two years — 84-year-old Vicha Ratanapakdee, 75-year-old Pak Ho, 61-year-old Noel Quintana, 75-year-old Younghee Choe, and 74-year-old Juanito Falcon. These illustrations were all done by artist and activist, Jonathan Chang, who has been illustrating the faces of anti-Asian hate victims throughout the pandemic.

Michelle Alyssa Go’s face up in lights, alongside the late 84-year-old Vicha Ratanapakdee (top left), 75-year-old Pak Ho (middle left), 61-year-old Noel Quintana (middle right), 75-year-old Younghee Choe (bottom left) , and 74-year-old Juanito Falcon (bottom right). (Artwork by Jonathan Chang)

There were many speakers throughout Michelle’s vigil, but the best ones, by far, were Michelle's friends: Kim Garnett, Jae McGuire, Rakesh Duggal, and Urja Ohja (through Perry Yung).

Michelle’s friends choked back tears as they recounted memories of their beautiful, vibrant friend. Kim talked about how Michelle would have been mortified to know that she was getting all of this attention, with a massive billboard of her face in the middle of Times Square. She said Michelle was incredibly dedicated to her family. Rakesh said Michelle was a glass-ceiling breaker — nothing was too big for her. She always wanted to do the most challenging things. He said they had gone on at least 12 trips together. Urja said Michelle made sure she was okay on a work flight they took together because Michelle knew she was afraid of flying. She thinks of Michelle almost every time she’s on a flight. They all said she was incredibly brilliant, and the greatest friend that anyone could ever have.

Kim said she can't bring herself to refer to Michelle in the past tense yet. They were pandemic buddies. They went on walks around the neighborhood together. They ate dinner outside in the freezing cold together. They took SoulCycle classes together. She said Michelle loved New York, and they had both agreed that there was no place they'd rather be during the pandemic than New York City. The two of them had recently gotten season passes to Disney World together, but they had only used them once. She said Michelle would've been extremely disappointed to know that she wasn't able to use her season pass as much as she had planned.

Kim said she had just talked to Michelle the day before she died, on Friday, about something totally normal and mundane — New York weather.

It was a beautiful vigil. Volunteers passed out white roses and candles. Attendees held up signs. Broadway performer and songwriter Janet Noh performed her original song, “There’s a Place,” from her new musical, “Off the Boat.” Poet and music teacher Alice Tsui performed an incredibly powerful poem called, “We Are Golden” — reminding us to shine bright, because we are golden.

Last year, I received a letter in the mail from Korean American writer and poet E.J. Koh. It read, “It’s a joy to meet you. My grandmother told me all Kohs, ever distantly, are related. I hope you feel a bit of home in this letter.” Go is another transliteration of the family name Ko, Koh, or Goh.

While I never knew Michelle, she feels as familiar as a friend. We’re both Asian American women. We both live in New York City. We were both members of the Gamma Phi Beta sorority. And we share a family name. We are, ever distantly, related.

We are Asian American sisters. We are New York City sisters. We are sorority sisters. We are family name sisters.

We are sisters.

I wonder where she was going that morning. I wish she could’ve somehow, miraculously survived. I wish she had left the city for the weekend. I wish she had been running late that morning and skipped whatever plans she had made. I wish she had decided to take a taxi instead. This was not supposed to happen to her.

It would have been a joy to meet her.

As the days, weeks, and months pass, do not forget Michelle.

Remember Michelle Alyssa Go. Remember her face. Remember her name. Remember her story.

Michelle — I am so sorry. May you rest, in all your golden power and glory.

With love,
Jieun